Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
