Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Found your dick twin last night
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
