Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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