I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
