The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
