Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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