Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
