oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
