Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
