I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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