Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
