i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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