I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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