i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
