I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
