Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
