If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
