i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
