at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
