i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Randomize
