i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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