nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
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