i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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