I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
