My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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