Yo dont text me then not text me
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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