There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
