I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Buhtt sex?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
