remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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