We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
