I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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