the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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