i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
