9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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