she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
