My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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