Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
