3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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