his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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