she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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