is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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