sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
