you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
