I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
