How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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