Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
