good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
