were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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