Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We are all done wearing pants today
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
