What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
