I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
